Let’s face it everyone at some point in their life has had to deal with unwanted circumstances. We all go through bad days. It is part of our learning curve. But you see, these difficult times are the ones that test our resilience, depth of our strength, who is by our side and what really matters to us and most importantly how to be grateful and humble.
Sometimes I would feel very apprehensive about my current situation and I would seek advice from my family and friends but all I receive is some half-assed replies ending with “Everything will be fine” and that’s when I lose my shit and stop replying to them and even cut them out of my life. I know things will (most probably) be fine and that life moves on. But those four words are not helpful to me where I am currently standing. That’s a thing we say to each other when we can’t find any other words.
Don’t worry, everything will be fine. It will eventually work out. People have it worse. It is alright.
No, it is not alright. Losing someone close to you is not alright. Being abused by someone you love is not alright. Not achieving things you have worked so hard for is not alright. Feeling worn out and lost to the point you can’t make it through the day without crying is not alright. I mean, whatever you are going through, it is not okay for now but you know what? It is absolutely fine to not feel okay all the time because it forces you to answer those excruciating inner questions about the root of your problem. Your pain will make people feel uncomfortable and the truth is no one wants to be uncomfortable so people end the conversation telling each other that everything will be fine since they don’t know what else to say and have no idea and/or intention to go through a pile of shit with you and just hold your hand while you let your emotions boil over and blow a fuse.
“Depression is a choice” = “your pain is your fault”
“You can overcome this if you just try hard enough” = “Your pain is making me uncomfortable. Please shut up.”
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) November 17, 2017
That’s when I promised myself that I will never tell someone to suck it up or that it will be fine. I would emphasise that I may not have gone through the same shit but I still see their pain. I am going to tell them that they are stronger than they know and remind them that they are not alone. We are into this together. Remember “Hope is the last thing to die“.